Everett Ó Cillín: An Example of Positive Masculinity.
Everett Ò Cillín -
Dear internet,
Hello! It’s me, Everett. Yup, Everett. Try’n on a new name and I hope you like it as much as I do. It’s a complicated name. My grandfather’s name. I never met him and heard very little about him growing up. As I’m learning he was a quiet man. An alcoholic. A vet. In truth he sounds like a complicated man who didn’t have the tools to process his trauma from war and the impact of the unhealthy expectations our culture places on men. Patriarchy and white supremacy hurts everyone differently.
As I take on this name I also take with it the weight, privilege, and complications of masculinity. It’s more than a name. It’s a task and a journey. My hope is to be able to embody the characteristics of masculinity that I never saw modeled for me growing up with a single mom. Truth be told I’ve had very few positive experiences with cis-men or masculinity. So, I want to be the positive example of masculinity that I want to see in the world. I have and am going to inevitably f*ck up sometimes but I’m committed to doing my best to not reproduce the patterns of harm I’ve seen and experienced.
All that said I also want to make clear that I do not identify as a man, I am not and have no desire to be. But I do want to embody the genderqueer dynamics of positive masculinity that I wan to see more of in the world. I also feel so blessed to now have good examples of this in my life and want to thank those of you who have been a positive influence in all this.
Make your own magic my loves. End the patterns of harm in your life and history. It can end with you, with me, with us. The war is over if we want it. If we work for it.
